I dont get chicks, its like they only care about themselves and money
sounds like you understand them just fine
I don't get calzones all look the same but taste so different
This is how scared I get when I ride roller coasters. And how scared I was when I had to poop when I had herpes.
i just saw someone i know on True Life. i need new friends.
She jerked me off while she drove us back from Denver going 70mph. It was both the scariest and most erotic moment of my life.
its a vaginal recession for me, ill take what i can get
Or they can chase TEQUILA shots with it. I don't know why my phone capitalizes TEQUILA.
I'm on my "fiiiiirrrst" glass of wine- the quotes mean it's the last of the bottle- so I really need you to pick up your phone so we can talk about this
A blind man just put his face in my cleavage. I'm also crying.
He told me he loved me. I didn't know what to say so i just squirted the baby oil at him
You wouldn't believe how many pro-life stickers, and "show us your tits" signs there are between here and Dallas.
do me a favor, I need this weekend off so can you work your magic and blow my boss again?
He is a real estate investor who’s face I’m going to sit on.
we went to go have morning sex and I said “I was gonna put my mouth on it but you need to shower”#ruinedthemoment
He agreed to matching Christmas pajamas today, no guy does that for a girl he’s not seriously considering marrying.
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