Can I ask u a weird question?
Sure
do u have the hershy squirts too?
our drinking schedule never changed, we just drank at work.
You came on your own forehead. Just wanted to remind you that.
Hate sex is AWESOME! I faked it, and when she fell asleep i came in her purse.
Tomorrow will not be complet unless someone eats me out. Just sayin
I was thrown in the air atleast 3 times by baby jesus
Just had an old man tip me two dollars and say "here put this in your baby fund, you'll have a baby someday" I swear this is gods way of saying GET ON BIRTH CONTROL NOW!
Just threw up in the MSO airport men's room. We're at that point this morning.
If she "comes out" to me I guess I'll high five her. That's pretty much my response to everything these days.
like i got into his car and the beatles were playing. this kid is def getting his dick sucked
I just got the most majestic image of a potato sack full of dildos getting whipped at your head in slow motion.
I can see their wedding vows now: 'Til basicness do us part
How do I put this... You're dating Ricky from Trailer Park Boys. Stop eye-fucking him and actually listen to what he says for once. He actually said "I self-learned that myself, basically" while rolling a joint. He's worse than your unskilled magician ex that accidentally cut off three of his own fingers
I woke up at 6:30 in the morning on the A train on 14th street. You wouldn't know anything about that right?
He’s like Batman if Batman went down on me and gave me multiple toe curling orgasms. He left without saying a word before I pulled the pillow off my face
Find out if he’s shared his techniques with a friend and set me up with him. You know I’ve always had a thing for Robin!!!!
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