I haven't seen Daniella all day...are you sure she was safe going home with that guy?
oh don't worry! i asked him if he was a rapist. he said no
Lol speaking of weird...he just sent me a naked pic of himself that said "meow" at the bottom.
I just made Jack Daniels snow cones.
I'm on his itunes. He has a sex playlist. It's actually not so much a playlist as 12 Kylie Minogue songs with a big gay Whitney finish.
I told the girl who was peeing in the garbage can she must have had a lot of upper body strength.
I was in my bathroom taking a shit and my mom just opened the door, walked in, handed me a fudgesicle, and left without saying a word. Yeah. That just happened.
More cowboy butts than you can shake a stick at, oh joy.
Your father is wrapped in a table cloth singing, "America Fuck Yeah!" You are missing the time of your life.
I didn't even know this guy existed until he'd had his hands down my pants, so I just went with it.
Two of my roommates are waxing their vaginas in the living room. Can I come smoke?
Are ropes allowed in during conjugals?
I'm armed with nothing but $4 lip gloss gum and my phone. Ready to take on the fucking world.
I got fucked in a bat mobile this morning. Being slutty rules.
I'm not sure you count what happened last night as sex.
So. Much. Porn.
Randomize
