i wish i could "like" people's thoughts in real life like i can on facebook
you can....by speaking....
I'm seriously so bored I'm seeing how many rooms I can masturbate in before I get caught.
Four. Poor grandma...
i wish sherlock holmes were still around today... he'd be able to find my g-spot.
come over i need a lifeguard for my shower
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I don't think he realizes it but he was stroking the faucet while he was talking to me.
all im saying is that if he was a normal person, he would have fucked me by now.
As I sit on the toilet at 4 am I realize tonight could have gone a lot better
Good news. Hiccups are gone. Bad news. I had to set the bathroom rug on fire to get rid of them. Don't come home until the fire truck leaves.
Was she always missing a tooth or am I just now noticing it?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I have my vibrator between my thighs and I'm listening to high school musical. That kind of high. We're all in this together.
do you think me going to the gyno dressed as a cat is inappropriate?
You have talents. You got me laid two weekends in a row in two different cities.
Have you had sex with a man from New Zealand? No? Then your input is invalid.
I'm really going to need you to stop yelling Campari.
And I mean really who loses their phone in a tree
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