Just got done shaving my balls. You were right.
she fell down the flight of stairs and was fine until she saw the two broken beer bottles on the ground by her.
thats a woman
If he comes back to you and I'm left alone in lonelytown I'm totally going to poo on your car.
puked in the new hous. now it's officially home.
Just watched a porn with the dvd commentary on i think i need to re-evaluate my life
So many bounce houses so little time
We're trying to see who can drink the most and still be eligible to donate blood tomorrow.
You said that "grilled cheese was much to complex" and started to throw the buttered bread at the wall while eating all the cheese.
There are so many Jimmy John's employees here
Where are you?
Jimmy John's.
I think my body is literally trying to get me to reproduce. "fuck someone! Anyone!" - my body
I knew it was going to be good when he took off my bra and I only realized 5 minutes later
A 74 year old man offered to let me sleep on his pull out couch last night.
Seriously dude...who threw up on Michelle? She's been crying for like an hour
Says the girl who left her friends to go have phone sex in the bathroom at Michael's
I believe you can. But if you can have rum with breakfast then do that. Definitely do that.
Randomize
