Worst sexual experience IN MY LIFE. And now i know why it makes jesus cry.
I think most guys look at porn as a fallback career. I mean I know I do.
I'm done. I'm tired and there's a topless pic of me floating around the nation's largest 3G network.
i am devastated. she was DTF and I was about to puke, i told her to wait outside my room for a second. Puked. Passed out woke up, she was gone. Found puke stains on my keyboard that seem to spell out youporn....
The problem with having your drunkeness documented at a wedding is not only does it show up all over facebook, but all over professional photography websites.
just used clorox wipes to give myself a whores bath. hello finals week
can you look at this picture and tell me if you think this my kid?
we tried to steal a tractor last night. you should have come out.
full cup flip cup was not exactly the reason I wanted to tell the cops when I was sleeping on the curb
SHE WON'T ROUND UP MY GRADE! I have a 79.8% I ONLY MISSED TWO CLASSES!!! ONE WHEN I GOT DRUGGED AND ONE WHEN MY CAR GOT BROKEN INTO!! I'm interculturally competent. I used to date a Italian/Cherokee Indian. I fucked a Palestinian. How much more pro-peace can you get?
I woke up on some strangers couch covered in salad mix and oatmeal cream pies. The struggle is absolutely real.
Far too many of our conversations end in us talking about sperm
I have wine with a bendy straw bitches I can do fucking anything
I dunno what to tell you sport. Short of having a shock collar on, you're gonna wanna hook up with people.
I swear I'm going to walk in one day with you in a ballgag just masturbating feverishly
Well i can't stand the sound of my own crying
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