Call me when you're up
Great dream, you were in it
At a stoplight watching a woman push groceries in a stroller while dodging oncoming traffic... Reallllly Detroit?
Firetruck pulls up, fireman jumps out n knocks on my door, asks "do you know where Johnny lives?"
ok please explain why some one shaved half of my pubes?
we should become lesbians. not together. just in general.
Heading to the gym, the one that guy said he goes to. Already checked online, his class is at 5. And no, this isn't too much after meeting him last night. Stop judging me,
I understand where he's coming from but I don't want this alcohol to revolve around relationship
Wait
This is God's way of telling me He loves me and wants me to be a cocktease.
Go forth my daughter and give blue balls to all who may gaze upon your tits.
You'd be surprised at the stuff my vagina tells my brain to say
I'm going to make "gut the love salmon" a common slang term for sex. Spread the word.
WHAT KIND OF SELF RESPECTING 28 YEAR OLD WOMAN WAKES UP IN A FRAT HOUSE?!?'
The cougar kind?
Yeah play it cool maybe put in a kissy face though let him know you're giving an invitation for his dick
Will you be super villain lesbian lovers with me for halloween?
Yeah so then I used the selfie stick his mom gave me to take nudes
Pandemic Silver Lining: cheap hotel rates makes it easier to have afternoon fun with my side dick
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