she has no idea who harrison ford is.
see that's why i'd never date someone born in the 90s
blow job with a beer in the shower, I just created the ultimate day spa for dudes
She got mad when I told her I'd bone her mom. She got MORE mad when her mom heard, and was flattered by it. Proud to say I attract MILFS.
I don't know what happened last night but I woke up this morning with "wolf pack" tattooed on my knuckles.
nyquil sex gave me 6 orgasms so I support that
So he thinks I sent him a picture of my boob last night, but it was really just a close up of my arm.
For future reference, never invite the people you met at Dunkin Donuts at 2am to your house to watch Dogma
he got a rim job in the basement.
apparently i was the one who gave it to him.
I'm not drunk because I think my blood just is alcohol from last night so being drunk is sober. If that makes sense
I almost went home with him but then my hydroxycut fell out of my purse at the bar and I ran away
btw, whatever u do, dont try and take that towel away from her..i tried, it got ugly..she said some things im sure she regrets.
I really want some funfetti cake but I feel like its more socially acceptable to go out and drink
Care to explain the single rose and the package of "Cowboy Moustaches" I found on the porch?
Lets just say my thoughts when getting dressed this morning was "vagina friendly" options
I mean it's up to you where you want to sleep but I'm telling you you're going to hear us have sex no matter what room you're in.
Fair enough
Randomize
