then he goes, "ok, i have to go talk to the girl i'm semi-talking to/dating and see if i'm in trouble" WHAT IS MY LIFE?!
Sometimes I think that I have too much self esteem
Then I realize that I'm just really fucking pretty.
she's throwing things again.. almost stabbed herself in the eye with a fork.
I had to take the fire extinguisher from him. He was just sitting on the floor petting it.
You have proved your worthiness to join me on the quest of taking shots at every academic building on campus by showing up drunk to our test at 12:30 today
You just sat there and yelled "I JUST WANT TO RUB MY NIPPLES"
If you end up at a gay bar on a tuesday night in steelers pjs, does that mean youve hit rock bottom?
My bed is full of blood and feathers
The Supreme Court upheld health insurance. If that's not an excuse to get hospital drunk, I don't know what is.
Ok- my dad's ex-wife's Irish nephew. Weird if we fuck or not?
I've seen people win free drinks for a lot less dude, no need to drop trou on a piano.
This is the most boring acid ever. I feel like a child. But thats okay, I've been a child before, its nothing new.
I tried to have a quickie with him at the company happy hour. I think I need to quit my job.
Just because your gf gives mediocre bjs doesn't mean I can fill that void
I possibly am a tad bit not really but maybe slightly intoxicated.
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