he suggested we appoligize to eachother. then do blow and painkillers & have ourselves a make-up party.
I may have been hammered and in a wheelchair but I definitely remember asking the hospital reseptionist to marry me
I saw the video from Saturday. So, how much did I drink for me to think I was a duck and strip my clothes?
I can't. I can't get out. He cooked me food. And made me jager bombs. And painted a glow in the dark smilie face on my boobs
wanna play who's drunker? I just made macaroni & cheese taco and offered it to the pizza Guy as a tip.
I gave him head in my cape. On the kitchen floor. Watching a show about bacon.
People dont know what to do when a naked fat guy is running towards them. they panic
Add caroling to the list of things we need to do in an elevator
The highlight of the night was when he yelled "WAS THIS CONDOM MADE FOR TODDLERS??"
But that's fine. Because I am an independent woman who is going to pull some jane Goodall shit and save the world one day......or be a porn star......either way they are going to wish they had fucked me.
Right now you and beer are my only friends.
I'm floating on a 30mph cloud right now not giving a fuck
did you just correct my grammar and then send me a photo of your dick?
That's not the problem. The problem is I thought I was over him but he smells nice today.
I just went to cvs and bought condoms, handcuffs and a coloring book
Randomize
