my Econ professor just passed around his phone for us to take a pic of ourselves so he could learn our names. I am currently looking him up on my sex offenders app.
you told me to make out with him to promote the social success of the sorority
heey were did you guys go? last time i remember seeing you i was throwing up in the fountain
Olympics start in one day, that gives us 24hrs to think of gold medal worthy drinking games
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i found a twelve pack under my bed. and a six pack in my closet. I'm like a fucking alcoholic squirrel.
He's Hawaiian. Thank god it wasnt a real American
Guess who left Professor Cunt on their paper by accident?
You called me at 4am shouting drunk shit about Poland and asking me to 'come out and play.' Where the fuck were you?
Poland
We used a snorkel as a funnel. Can you say desperate?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Well I woke up naked, with a santa hat on, and a bag of beef jerky next to me. So yeah, I would say it was a pretty successful trolley
Are u guys proud? I puked my brains out last night at a strip club. While my two fave strippèrs held my hair
I went to her house she had a kid pool in her living room watching the vacation channel drinking rum out of the bottle saying" life is what you make it. Mines a vacation!!!"
My New Year's resolution is to chill out on the group sex. At least with my friends anyway.
If they start to date again I refuse to help her sext him. Helping my mom sext my dad is where I draw the line.
I totally fucked your pastor last night.
You're his wife.
Still a dirty get down.
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