There is a man walking 2 goats through the city.
Bonus: only one of them was on a leash.
but there are maragaritas for $3 so that was all i needed to hear
i have my own cum on my nose right now. don't talk to me about "embarrassed".
Hmmm just stalked him and according to his facebook he wants "whatever he can get." obviously he'd be open to the idea.
I just spent 30 minutes cleaning out my coleman grill. Did you really have to have grilled yogurt?
I sent her 8 pictures of my dick in a baked potato. Not sure how I thought that would get me laid later.
I'll start choreographing the sperm rain dance now
No no, there's drunk and then there's 'spooning with lawn gnomes' drunk.
I feel like having peed on eachother is a point in our lives we should never have gotten to...
I feel like a monkey keeps fucking me in the ear with a trombone as a dick.
I world jack off literally anyone now that I'm not related to.
Sometimes turtles just really trip me out man
By NOT going to the gym, I'm helping my future. I don't want stripping, prostitution, or porn to be viable money making options.
I feel like the dump I just dropped is the most successful thing I've done so far today.
Stole my 7th stop sign and 3rd speed limit sign last night. Not even sure how because they were bolted to a cement wall. Tequila gives you strength you didn't know you had.
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