My unemployment check should really just be direct-deposited into the checking account of my drug dealer
doing a bong hit while wearing crest white strips...not such a great idea...
Just saw the new iPhone. I would totally let Steve Jobs and Jon Ive eiffel tower me right now.
Ironically her ferret's toys look like her sex toys.....this is a whole new level of kinky for me
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Your dad's facebook is ejaculating midlife crisis all over my minifeed
I just found our entire wall-to-wall from September 2006 printed out and clipped... it's 49 pages. Blackout me is so considerate of bored-at-work me
THE MIME IS MIMING TO BUST A MOVE KARAOKE. ALL MIME-RELATED EVENTS DESERVE CAPS LOCK
This is just what we do. We meet guys, go back to their place, smoke all their weed & go home to compete in out own version of Cupcake Wars.
Who was the person who brought the rooster when they won @ beer pong
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
She had a tattoo on her pelvis that said "it's cock-o-clock" an had clocks and hot dogs exploding away from it. I'd like to tell you it was deal breaker buuuuuuut.......
Heard you were the one that shit off Jamie's balcony. FYI there is a cabbie down here out for blood
Like who needs a job and family when you can get drunk for free with strippers?
And thanks for putting me in that safety position on the bathroom floor while I was spooning the toilet
She squirted. We were both surprised. I'm that good.
I learned tonight while in another country that no matter the nationality, men are disappointing in bed
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