Send those Picts to my email please. From last night
Ps thx for the porn on my phone
;) ur welcome
"Worlds Wildest Videos" should be called "Crazy White People"
the best part was when he threw his debit card on the table, looked at everyone and said "turn this into pizza!" It felt like a scene in a 'coming of age' teen comedy.
There are going to be so many Snookis this Halloween that I might just dress as the guy that hit her and punch them all in the face
turkey basters and jungle juice, is that really the whole shopping list for new year's?
Too lazy to make dinner. Had chocolate and scotch instead. Check in with me in a half hour.
You didn't even properly utilize my pigtails.
ok, i suppose pissing your pants could be considered a wardrobe malfunction.
I solemnly swear I will not get your boyfriend puke in public drunk again
Glad I can drunkenly remember to not get tomatoes on my Mexican pizza but can't tell a guy to keep his hands off my ass
He just said "I know you want my cock" and I said nah. I want food bro
Is it bad that we left the kid passed out on the bus? I think his name was texas. I was too drunk to be questioning this.
Just letting you know that I just spent 11 dollars on a car wash... Because you had sex in my car.
I woke up naked and alone this morning. What a life
I hate waking up to a room that reeks of bad decisions...
Randomize
