I can mark tailgating, going to the game and getting road head off my to do list today
tonight, alcohol would be proud of us
please stop telling ppl youre Alice Cullen when youre drunk
He gave me a 420 gift that consisted of a dime bag, a philly cheesestake, and a Pepsi that was still cold. If he ever wants a free bj, I got him.
I've never seen anyone write a check for a bar tab before
Ok. So let me get this straight. She treats her vagina like a clown car, yet judges me for just making out with the guy that bought all of us shots?
This is NOT the time to take our hits and go to Disney. Let me repeat that. NOT THE TIME FOR DISNEY ON ACID
Are you coming to the bday night? i'll be doing a life-like reenactment of traveling through Bonnie's vaginal canal and taking my first breath of life. Don't think you'll want to miss it.
I can bring a slip n slide and curtains.
you just missed a great speech in which i almost coined the term "ass-ian" as in "my vaginal and ass-ian regions are no longer safe"
God please dont post that to facebook.
I am stoned at Disneyland with my little brother. It's gonna be a good day.
I'll be home soonish I need 4th of July sex, it's the American thing to do.
At least you didn't get an invite in the mail to your fuck buddy's baby shower like I just did. My life is a sitcom
I thought I came here to hook up, not for a Study Abroad 101 session
She is either doing really drawn out crunches or trying to sniff her boobs...She's lying on her back with her hand behind her head, forcing her head into the cleavage that's ok to expose and then moves her head back and then does it again.
Eventually I will start sleeping with people who actually want to hangout with me the next day... But not today
Randomize
