atleast your grandma didn't give you her USED dildo just so you wouldn't have sex.
bathroom sex at kohls isnt as trashy as it seems
if we break up, who will get the dealer?
Man, jail baloney is awful.
Hey got that picture this morning. 1. clean your room 2.what happened to your nail? and 3. your penis is amazing,.
He stripped down to boxers and then started flinging jello shots with a spoon into people's mouths like a catapult.
If you want to borrow my flask for all future interviews as a good luck charm because your last one went so well with it in your suit pocket, just let me know
Can we go to Home Depot next week? Drunk Kim broke my toilet with a hammer.
How did she break his doorknob?
That was our fault. We put a chair under the doorknob so that she wouldn't wander out of his room in the middle of the night and jump into bed with her ex. But she's stronger than we thought.
Trying to figure out the logistics of putting my laptop speakers on this plate with the last slice of pizza. Too drunk to move the plate. Not an option.
I spent half an hours grinding with a drunk Harry Potter cosplayer at the con rave. Pretty sure I felt his wand.
Was just messaged by someone in a Power Ranger suit on OkCupid... Figured you would approve
I had sex with a mask on because I have the flu and I didn't want to get him sick.
dave might be using McDoubles to pay for dances
he has gotten at least 7 lap dances out back
I just fuked with kevins application and made it say that he does conjugal visits for community service
hey some people donate their time while apparently kevin donates his body
Randomize
