she says her boyfriend and her dignity are both out of town tonight
normal stoners make pot brownies. gay stoners make pot chocolate covered cherries on a cinnamon graham cracker crust which by the way are very effective.
Nothing kills the mood more than a jesus song.
I am the drunkest girl in the tree.
if tampons were more like dildos the world would be a better place
It's ok I'm watering my plants with a 40 in my camelback, people are staring
i told you that I felt like my feet were melting into the ground and you starting blowing on them to put out the "invisible fire". thanks friend.
SARAH B AND I ARE GOING TO GO HALFSIES AND BUY YOU A CAT. IS THAT OKAY. TO KEEP YOU COMPANY DURING THUNDERSTORMS SUCH AS THIS ONE. ITS BECAUSE WE LOVE YOU.
With the drought our water bill is skyrocketing. No more shower sex, masturbating, or pretending to be under a water fall after smoking a blunt.
They shouted last call and the guy next to me and I looked each other up and down and went in unison "yup, you'll do"
I'm sure you can think of a way to make money.. God didn't give you boobs that awesome to waste them feeding your children..
I STILL HAVE A HARD TIME DECIDING WHAT TO WEAR IN THE MORNING HOW WOULD IT BE POSSIBLE FOR ME TO PICK A PAIR OF PANTS AND GO OH ILL JUST WEAR THESE FOR THE REST OF MY LIFE
Can I just text her like "yo sorry I fucked your boyfriend, let's go get sushi" or like nah
It was going very smoothly until she noticed my boner of hope.
Did you come home, throw out a ton of shoes, then leave again?
That is exactly what I did.
Randomize
