He wanted me to blow him while he was playing guitar hero. there will not be a second date
I used to practice getting hit by cars.
just got passed by a van of kids watching the little mermaid. debating speeding so i can watch
Didn't u have court just yesterday for ur driving?
IT'S THE LITTLE MERMAID! totally worth another year of probation
My gynecologist inadvertently complimented your penis.
This is davidson friend mat i an drunk. Thank you for having a physical relationship. With David. I bet he gas a penis the size of an elephant tusk. You are a lucky lady.
Tried making out with pop rocks in my mouth. That shit is magical.
You know I ate twenty hot dogs in an hour once.
I am honestly so surprised you are a lesbian.
I have more sex toys than shoes - HOW AM I SINGLE?!?!?
A warmed up burrito and jelly beans. The breakfast of champions.
Don't blame me. My vagina leads me astray.
My Sundays are fucking awful. Can't get a blow job.....can't get a win.
He stopped mid sex to pour wine in my mouth...
Marry him.
I'M TOO HORNY FOR GRAMMAR!!!
i accidentally gave my stepdad ketamine so id say it was a fun weekend.
I made out with a 40 year old and told her we were dating then got kicked out of a gay bar. This is the day I stop drinking.
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