My mouth tastes like defeat. Did he at least have money?
It's fine actually... I'm pretty sure he had the crookedest weiner in the world anyway.
Like he had it hanging in the wind and you just decided, "nope, I don't think that one's for me." ????
God no! I could just feel it. His clock said it was 8:00 when, clearly, it should have been midnight.
we got back to my place and he started talking about feelings. i politely told him to leave and that he managed to cock block himself.
I hate when people uglier than me have girlfriends
Apparently I ran up to the group of cookie-cutter blonde chicks and screamed "Delta Gamma Nuuuuuuu!" really excitedly and tried to hug them and share fake sorority stories with them.
his mom found me in the closet hiding and the only thing i could think of was to sit there and wave.
In all fairness I didnt see your dick because it was already in her
they paper machayed me.
i told you ... never pass out drinking with preschool teachers.
never underestimate the power of walking into a bar alone in uv cat makeup.. took home a seven foot man
no dude free pina colada`s taste like what I would expect my penis to taste like except gay-er.
Either she's trying to smother me and failing, or she just has a really bad sense of where her tits should go.
WHAT IS MY LIFE THAT THE ONLY PERSON INTERESTED IN FUCKING ME IS MY 6TH GRADE MATH TEACHER
I HAVENT HAD A NICE A NICE DICK SINCE FEBRUARY!! I WANNA KEEP THIS ONE!!!
He told us a story about a time his 80 year old uncle karate chopped a dick in a glory hole.
Do you remember punching the light out in the bathroom? I didn't, and that was at bar 2 of 4…
Randomize
