Pretty sure my dad just walked in on me jerking off watching guys on webcam. Remember how I used to say "most awkward day of my life?" I'm retiring that phrase.
Threesome last night. Not that cool, you tend to pick a favorite.
Its 11am everyones wasted wearing sombreros and eating fresh produce..cesar chavez would be very proud
hes totally cute, too bad i slept with his father
idk if you're aware of this...but we could potentially have the greatest hate sex...ever.
I didn't take her seriously until she snorted that ramen noodle flavor packet...
No I'm not coming over. That Bob Ross drinking game is too intense.
Just caught my first cougar this fake was worth every fucking penny.
Someone had written "Boxmonsterette" on the bathroom wall and I just knew you'd been here.
I feel like there should be a database and you screen your boyfriend's scrotum and all the fucked up shit they've done goes on file.
Who has the safety vest from this past weekend Additionally, who has the dancemaster glove?
I'm in my bed. Snow angles in fresh sheets. don't even try to get me out tonight.
When you're trying to sneak from the bathroom to your room with dildo, but it glows in the dark and suddenly your entire life is illuminated in the shape of dick
My mom just walked in on me naked taking a shit and packing a bowl...the only comment she makes is, she wants her Tupperware back after my pot's out of it. Best mom ever.
You ask to touch his thighs ten times and called them magnificent.....need I say more
Randomize
