Awww my brother is growing up soo fast!! He just gave me the, "I know you're high but I won't tell mom n dad" look!
She came over with Guinness cupcakes, a case of Mickeys, wearing an Ireland flag & nothing else.
I kept calling him escargot instead of Estaban..I don't think that was the wisest choice.
Coming to you live from the floor of my office..
Oh yeah and one of the strippers brought you chips and water when you were passes out next to the toilet. So that was nice
if the furniture in my bedroom wasn't shape shifting... this would be a different story.
School starts Thursday. Don't fling yourself out of the car to throw up screaming "classy" before I park this time.
It's a new year.
Overheard-"sex" and "giblet gravy" in the same sentence. Best thanksgiving ever.
I tried sex in a car once. It was like trying to do yoga in a drainage pipe with your arms and legs tied while using a typewriter with your penis.
A party without a piñata is not a party I want to attend.
Also your Swedish friend who's name I don't remember is really good in bed.
*Norwegian
Quit giving me a hard time, whens the last time you got head every night? Cougars are where its at they dont play games
What's an appropriate gift to bring to my boyfriend's wife's baby shower?
Shame?
its Niagara falls. its like international waters. You can get away with anything there
I know you want to take a pregnancy test, but could you wait until Sunday so it doesn't ruin our weekend
Randomize
