you should probably quit with the whole "no homo" thing, especially when you are drunk, "mo homo"gives the wrong impression.
I just had a dream where Bob Saget recognized me from when I hung out with him in a dream I had months ago.
I don't have any food so I made a martini so I could eat the olives. Don't tell me I can't think outside the box.
I was told u were the one who could explain to me why i woke up in the running shower, still in my dress and heels
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I fatbooth all their pics then decide which one is the cutest even if they gained like 400 lbs and then proceed to fuck him.
and she just brought her bike into the shower with her
the outcome of this sandwich determines whether or not i do anything else with my day..
Went to the wedding reception, and he left with ALL of the brides maids phone numbers. I don't know how he does it either.
Do you ever get a cramp in like, ONE labia?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
My niece I'm babysitting left earlier to stay the night with her friend. I got ditched by an 8 year old.
My professor just asked for my number. Not fucking her till after finals though I learned my lesson last time.
I just slammed a bottle of white wine before I came to Whole Foods so basically I'm just training to be a middle aged white woman.
Hey bring in backup. its going to take a lot more beer than we think to fill up the water bed...
Dude just saw some some guy puke out of a car window on the highway going to school.
I do not recommend playing football on LSD like at all
Randomize