Well I thought I'd be nice but yeah I'm not a fan of you either you're an arrogant stupid cocky unfunny loser. Don't talk to me you're crazy
bruce springsteen sings some of the most romantic songs i've ever heard.
the hells wrong with u
if someoen knew that someone accidentally drunkly kissed your boyfriend would you want them to tell you/?
followup question: what if both somones were me?
After we had sex he bought me grape soda. I think I'll keep him.
For the love of God you used a 40 foot extension cord to bungee jump out the off the 2 nd floor
Its really bad when you fall asleep at a stop light outside the hotel and you wake up to a small spanish limo driver knocking on your window to tell you it's a green light
I'm going to call you, don't answer. Need to practice moaning to your answering machine again
I just got a reminder alert on my phone for an event I titled "Bradley getting stupid high with me in bed." I assume we planned this during the party. I'm down if you are.
I dealt with the imported moonshine, but when the cocaine came out, I had to get the fuck out of there
All I'm saying is the next time I see him naked, there better be something in it for me that doesn't end in bailing him out of jail.
WE ARE DOOMED.
And not the good kind of doomed. Assuming there is one.
it isn't the robot apocalypse that's for sure
I felt like I needed to shower with a Mr. Clean Magic Eraser.
All I need is to get out and get laid
Yeah mom sounds like a good idea! Now send that message to the person it was ment for
hey can you come unlock the basement door? I'm trapped in here.
no I can't, you're a safety hazard. but, there's a beer keg down there somewhere. we don't have cups, but help yourself.
No pussy. I don't care what time of year it is you do not look tough wearing sandals. Honestly you look like a high school guidance counselor.
Randomize
