I just woke up in the coolest sweatsuit i have ever seen..it has cory's name on the tag...do we know a cory?
If someone cant be won over with guacomole and tequila they are not worth your time.
i think beer pong is the only time ive ever found a use for geometry
she gave me a disgusted look and asked how i could live with myself. because i havent seen the rocky horror picture show. and then dumped me.
You know you're a nerd when you lose track of how many times you've gotten turned on watching Glee.
I'm drunk at the doctor. It's not that fun. Overrated in fact.
im looking at burger kings website. there isnt one anywhere close to where we were last night. i think it was sent from heaven
My goal of the day is to not shit myself. That's it. Setting the bar real low
the night ended with taco bell and tears
Got drunk and tried to deep fry burritos. Turns out wild turkey isn't a good replacement for vegetable oil. Nearly burned my house down.
Sober people should be as daring as drunk people more often, because honestly the fact you’ve lived so long is a sign that anything is possible.
I don't remember his name. I had whataburger on my mind and in my hands so I wasnt really listening
Anybody can graduate from college sober. You try it while being stoned every day for the last three years. 2.75 baby.
My Sexting was not on an AP level
I feel worse lying to the guy I hooked up with than I actually do for cheating on my bf
Waking up drunk is great, waking up drunk and hanging with your mom is even better.