I got raped by $2 you call it's. I'm still hammered. And mentoring high school kids. My life is a joke.
Hawaiian shirts and no dignity
We are always on the same wavelength...kinda eerie.
Dude stop singing. Your life is not an episode of fucking glee
don't worry about the poodle she's always like that. she's like 14 years old and ate a bag of weed when she was a puppy.
Just had a drunken guest at my hotel threaten to "throw a fuckin fireball at my face"
she played "i just wanna get married" by jagged edge while we were having sex. why cant i avoid stage 5 clingers
I woke up naked in his kitchen...His name is Mike and we're having a "what happened last night" beer.
sometimes i feel like my only option in life is to be drunk or be a cat. today i am drunk
You need to fuck him. The man has his own Wikipedia.
We call it "Dishes: Hard Mode". Basically whoever is doing dishes gets head but needs to finish the dishes before they cum.
And so far nothing been broken!
Girl behind me in line at cvs was getting impatient then outta nowhere blew up shouting that if she didn't get her plan b soon she might be a mom abd that if we couldn't tell she'd be a terrible mom
my brain is opting to stay half drunk rather than relearn how to think. the rest of me is in no position to argue.
Steve brought 6 joints and 2 bottles of makers mark, Josh shat himself in the pool, and Amy blew me. Hope that extra 3 dollars an hour for working overnights is still worth it.
Idk I was embarrassed that I hit it too hard so I played it off by spitting out bong water like a 'whales blowhole'
I can show you the world. Shining, splimbering vaginaaaaaaaaaaaaaaa