I can't make any promises. I've tried my best to stay celibate. But if a guys on top of me, Im gonna tell him to stick it in.
Princeton has an emergency contraception worldwide website. It is in moments like these that I love my university
I look like a sausage in jean shorts, you should have woken up earlier and approved my outfit.
remind me not to puke in the mesh trash can tonight
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God, you're like boner-b-gone
She keeps referring to it as an "us" Either she is seriously mistaken on what fuck buddies are or she learned another meaning of the word "us"
theres 5 guys on the side of the road with beads and their shirts off screaming at cars already.
Hes screaming about Slender man. whatever hes on is probably not healthy.
One of my friends took me out last night for a bday celebration and I just now remembered that a man blew fire balls across the bar in honor of my birthday... How drunk do you have to be to forget that?
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threw up outside of the dorms in the parking lot in the pouring rain on the first day of class, i'd say summer is off to a good start.
When the cops pulled up I just stood flat against the fence with my hands up while yelling out,"I'm a tree!!"...
drunk caitlyn doesn't know how to work gmail. so know an email has been sent to the entire campus with a picture of me naked eating a bagel attached.
stop sending me battleship coordinates and get back here so i can suck your dick
you know that feeling on acid where you think the world stops just to fuck with you? That's what it felt like.
I didn't think this needed to be said, but our sexts are an emoji free zone