Well I thought I'd be nice but yeah I'm not a fan of you either you're an arrogant stupid cocky unfunny loser. Don't talk to me you're crazy
We just passed a billboard that said to join "jerseydoesntstink.com" and literally 15 seconds later, we could smell jersey.
America approved of our night. A bald eagle flew over us at 7am
It started out just like any other night: was watching a Zach Effron movie, drinking tequila out of a water bottle. I don't understand how this got out of hand.
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she made sit in a corner, drink nothing but water and told me she was worried about me because i picked up an irish guy at a taxi rank. says the girl who invented tequila night and fucked a guy in a park across the street from a sweet sixteenth.
Just peed in a urinal with another girl. It's that kind of night.
NOT EVEN KIDDING RIGHT NOW. THE GUY IN THE SPIDERMAN COSTUME JUST FELL OFF THE ROOF INTO A BABY POOL. GET HERE NOW!!
I recommend we watch the Super Bowl together and have celebratory sex if we win. Good news is I don't have a team I dislike so were guaranteed a win.
Apparently after I threw up I put my socks in the toilet......
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I decided it might be a good time to stop when he requested I "bring that pussy over here"
I feel bad for her. If you sacrifice and have a chubby husband I feel that you assume he's not going to cheat on you....
also I can check "jump into a moving car" off my bucket list if that tells you how tonight is going
You should come over tomorrow. Wine, pizza and my vagina. Those are all great things.
I was so close to going to get my nipples pierced with my mom today
well ya only live once...
that cant be your answer for every horrible thing you do