Like worst hickies ever he always gives them like wtf
Did you ever notice that cashews look like fetuses?
My astrological sign? Vagitarius.
I needed to borrow my dads nail clippers and next to it was an industrial size box of condoms if that wasnt bad enough I dropped the clippers behind the bed and discovered hundreds of used condoms
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You love popeyes more than me
does delicious chicken come out of your vagina?
I sent out a mass text that said "margaritas for Jesus?" and nobody responded, worst Easter ever.
We've shared an experience, my friend. I, too, have talked on the phone with a parent while giving a handjob
I lied. Can't workout today. Only exercises I'm currently capable of doing are breathing ones to keep last night's drinks ending up all over the classroom.
what better way to celebrate the birth of jesus christ than to get embarrassingly intoxicated and make poor decisions!?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
My liver needs me to go back to work asap.
I feel like ditching all logic and responsibility and get shit-faced before the week's over. Thoughts?
Not sure who they are or where we're going but they just bought me 3 tacos so I'm staying.
I gotta stop fucking the bouncers. We are running out of bars to go to.
Jarrod's passed out on the chair with a cup of milk and I've been staring him down in an attempt to use telepathy to make him spill it. Attempts unsuccessful.
Three cheers for handling my crush on my boss in an entirely reasonable manner, by having a threesome with my coworkers.
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