he actually proposed, and i threw up on him...i guess 5 glasses of wine was a bad idea.
how should i go about explaining the hickey i drunkenly gave myself last night?
and apparently i was drunk enough to follow up with "I'd let me touch your boobs" ... not my best line.
She must have been at ribfest tonight because my dick smells like barbeque sauce
i walked toward the cop car thinking it was the liquor store lights nd by that time it was too late to escape the trap
I cant do that to my vagina yet. its my prize posession.
i need to start using my dry humping skills. i was dry humping champion in 7th grade
Whoever invented the gimlet should be given a medal and then shot
took off my bra and popcorn fell out of it. im gonna puke at this wedding...
According to him, i kept saying "I'm belligerent as SHIT" and tried to run around the house in just my bra and underwear. Thats when they decided to carry me to the car and take me home.
Awee what are you going to name your new dog?
Sorry, I thought I responded to your question. My name is Jon, we kinda had a sleepover at your friends place in OC. Don't know if you remember me, you were "dick chugging" like there was no tomorrow last night.
I haven't included my nuts in a shave since the Shaq/kobe Lakers era. I gave my self the ol full court press in order to change the tempo.
I might as well walk around wearing a sandwich board and accept the fact that I'm dying single.
Cause I know you wanna ride the D like a Vespa in ROMAN HOLIDAY