How long do you think herpes can live on chapstick?
i'm sending her a home depot gift card for the hole i put in her wall. call it good?
Hooked up with my old baby sitter last night, so what do I do? As I was sucking her tits I decided it would be a good idea to say " goo goo gah gah"....it wasn't a good idea.
Drank beer out of a hotwheels bucket all night
As soon as I saw the video camera and red light on, I started rolling my eyes when he would put it in me and telling him maybe his dick was too small cause I didn't feel anything...trust me that tape is going nowhere
Europeans suck. I just gave him head and somehow i am the one paying for the coffee
i just like, need to vent to someone
Can we skip the part where I pretend to care and fast forward to the appreciative blowjob from you?
Get you some cowboy.
In that sentence you are the cowboy. That is not saying you should get a cowboy for yourself.
I woke up this morning to find a stuffed animal submerged in the toilet. I'm not entirely sure if it was the cat or Kara.
I have chafed skin from the handy she gave me. I told her that and she said return the favor when it heals. I'm in love.
I have lots of feelings today, but drunk is my favorite.
what's the least obnoxious place that i could barf on the bus?
ANNA HAS DISCOVERED EROTIC FANFICTION OF SHARKNADO THIS IS NOT A DRILL
They don't have a Valentines Day card for the married guy I'm sleeping with. It can't use the words, love, soulmate, you're the only one for me...and obviously it can't be anything related to spending the day together because that's not happening.
Here's a concept though: eating pasta while getting laid
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