Was i wearing a white blazer when you superpoke danced me??
I can tell how much and what I drank by my morning shits
quadriplegic porn is always funny
no. no its not
Walk of shame was bad enough, but farting with each step as I walked past his roommates was just not cosmically fair.
my life has come down to walking through campus and wondering if every guy is the random i made out with saturday
Also, last night I had a dream that I was in a victoria's secret fashion show and they made me wear a t-shirt over my lingerie. Spring dieting begins now.
We made the bar tender tell us how he proposed to his girlfriend. In detail. While we made gushing noises. We are embarrassments to females everywhere
Going out so taking the 2nd 1/2 of beer w/ me ont'tube in a Pringles tube. I give money to people on the street that have more self respect.
A nice make out session never hurt anyone. Plus he's a pilot, so he'll know the safety procedures for when the night crashes and burns.
Given he decided my interview was a date, showed up drunk and insisted on carrying me everywhere, we weren't off to a good start.
I forgot I did whipits. Probably because my brain cells were killed from the whipits
he has to serve us drink and appetizers in his french maid costume for the Pirates game tonight. Bring everyone.
I just want to bone him one last time before he moves across the country with his new (average looking) girl friend.
We watched ESPN, hooked up, got waffles. You know, a typical weekend.
At least he uses his lack of impulse control for chaotic good instead of chaotic evil
Randomize
