there's paper in my vomit.
How, after 24 years of life, did I manage to revisit breastmilk
it was like one of those moments where the couple runs together and kisses and everyone in the airport claps. but instead of clapping an indian guy walked by and said 'ahhhright! get some!'
im keeping my plan b box as a souvenir of my first halloween weekend in college
I hate when people I sell to add me on Facebook. I'm your dealer, not your friend, C'mon people.
I just saw a guy in the gym riding the bicycle while watching baseball and dipping.
So I wake up this morning with a bottle of dish detergent and a dildo. Good call on bringing those girls from community college.
We thought you were crowd-surfing until we realized it was the bouncers throwing you out
We just did a shot to "getting laid in the bar bathroom". I love where this thursday is headed
when it says do not use on the face or genital areas, it MEANS do not use on the face or genital areas.
He fell into the beer pong table and broke it. Then he threatened to throw the toliet at us if we didn't let him keep playing
He literally just peed in a trash can in our room. It didn't even have a bag in it
He's like a hurricane
a drunk, sexist, hurricane
IF YOU HAVE THE CHANCE TO HIT THAT, AND YOU DON'T, I WILL FUCKING CRUCIFY YOU.
You're such a supportive sister.
conclusion: canadians have really freaky sex
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