Dude, just got a bummer.
What??
A blow job from a homeless chick.
You were so drunk last night you thought you force pushed the automatic door open.
you just broke rule number 1. If you can't lift her up don't date her
you kept making us tell you how cute you looked in your new outfit, even after you threw up all over it
before you smothered your pizza in mayo you blotted it with a napkin saying you were trying to watch your fat intake
He asked if I wanted to leave my bra on while we were doing it from behind bc he read somewhere that all that pounding can be painful for big breasts. THAT thoughtful.
You may see me on espn tomorrow drunk, half naked, and selling articles of clothing to rich cougars like i did last year, but i will NOT be drinking shitty beer
Good lord, they've set up every firework to be ignited by a trail of gasoline at midnight. God save us all.
So fucked up. Can't tell if I'm starving or about to puke. Playing it safe and eating froot loops. Tasty in, colorful out.
being a senior sucks, I just started embracing my inner slutty college girl, and it's almost time to put her away...for like, ever. and i really like her.
Are you coming to class or was the dick pic this morning your way of saying not today?
You know your night is done when the police confiscate your bra at high school basketball game
And I wasn't CONVICTED of a felony, I just committed one
He left cushions on my floor, chocolate on my bra and unexplained scratches on my thighs. I think this one might get a second date.
I just wanna know if were done hooking up so I know of that condom he left in my top drawer is fair game
Randomize
