Don't forget I'm 20 now
I liked you more when you were 19
I think I have vodka in my lungs
What sexual position says im sorry for your loss?
I pull out like 90% of the time, but that's just to make art.
You said my dick was impressive. You thank someone when they say that. My momma raised a gentleman.
sea world and a strip club? BEST DAY EVER!
if this uncomfortable exchange we're having is you trying to flirt with me i suggest you stop it before someone gets hurt
I just really don't even know what I would do with a boyfriend... Like do I just kiss it and then leave it in the corner? Like how often does it eat??
His pick-up lines are quotes from Doctor Who. Of course I fucked him.
The cop let us off with a warning because I had more Twitter followers than he did. The future is terrifying.
Someone needs to lock me in a chastity belt because all my vagina does is get me into trouble. Fuck.
New life goal: Sex in a parking lot surrounded by a circle of fire.
I am now gainfully employed. Parents, lock up your children.
Yay! Welcome to the world of "you're seriously trusting me with your kid?"
I’ve chosen to watch a Mercedes station wagon drive around the Austrian in the rain because it’s live sports. If that doesn’t explain 2020, I don’t know what does.
Is it wrong to want to use the Dark Web to buy Vyvance for legitimate purposes?
Randomize
