Far right against the wall..hiding come find me. dont tell oyhers hahaha
these burps are starting to have way more vomit in them,
Liz and I are now offficially highest. OH, and your girlfriend may be a vampire. Heads up. SPARKLESSSSS
Put my glitter back.
Balls are like the throw pillows of the penis
i crushed up some extenze and put them in his protein powder - should make for an interesting gym experience
Packed at 6 am completely wasted. Damage assessment: 12 pairs of socks (no underwear), a flashlight, 3 shorts, shot glass, 8 sweaters, puff paint, one sneaker.
My vagina has officially become a vortex for sexually confused frat guys.
i also performed surgery on a chicken burrito from what i can tell from my scissors
I was jumping over your garbage can screaming "Im a snow cat!!" ..Who wouldn't want to see that?
She just asked if I wanted to eat nachos off of her boobs... I'm going to marry this girl.
As a friend tho, you have the biggest dick I've ever seen
I couldn't find my hair brush so I just brushed my hair with a cat brush. I should not be dating.
fuck school, let's just become the worst strippers ever
You made me brush your teeth last night......for 47 minutes.
They left me at home... I'm a liability
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