my mario cart skills improve with alchohol. and i think my real car skills do to but the cop didnt see my logic
small problem..I have a major exam in the morning so I might have to go to the library after the party
so no drinking for you?
don't be silly
you pissed in a zip-loc bag and wanted 60 dollars for it
i just bought weed at the top of a mountain, best decision of our lives to go to school in colorado.
Hey, can you come over and kill me real quick
He's blaming gravity for his problems right now, so put that in perspective
im that hungover where parking at red lights has to be done
I just haven't been myself lately. I slept with a guy 21 years older than me and I've been wearing my hair in a center part.
she just announce I'm david copper field and tried to shove a napkin down my throat
She's on her period. You don't know what fear is.
HE STARTED HUMMING THE THEME TO STAR WARS!! WHILE I'M SUCKING HIS DICK!!
my roommate would be appalled if she knew how many times i've peed in the kitchen sink
got a free grilled cheese. Didn't even have to talk about Jesus
No, Ethan, handcuffs and friendship bracelets are not "basically" the same thing.
My "birthday sex" consisted of approximately 25 seconds of him going down on me in the shower.
Randomize
