I just got asked by a man in the alley if i would like to buy 50 dollars of meat for 20 bucks. Its been a weird day.
he put his p in my v, then his p in my a, and then tried to put the p in my m? first, double dipping is rude. second, i'm glad he finished shortly after that, i'm afraid of where he'd try to stick it next. my ear?
We had sex in his tahoe, talked about how we don't love each other and then high fived twice. Best Day Ever
were talking about masturbation in my pysc class. He says it's healthy. I'm gonna live forever
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enterprise is going to pick me up, im too high for this
I should just wear a shirt that says "Im Sorry" on the front because the second we land in Vegas, I'm going to be a fuckin trainwreck.
It's just a matter of time. The ball is in my court. Soon to be in her mouth.
I know I said I wouldn't, but he told me I looked like Mila Kunis. Reasons not to fuck him, go.
Trust me, dating 38 and 20 year old dudes at the same time is the best. Money plus all of the sex. Finally figured out this relationship thing.
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I had to ask him for a dick pic. Do you know how refreshing that was?
Did I call him? He cried after taking my bra off. You tell me.
Why are friend nudes not more of a thing? My tits look awesome right now.
yeah, i thought because of the nature of his job he would have been better at it, but i guess there's a difference between a bagpipe and vagina
We found you in the bathroom at 1AM throwing money into the toilet making wishes. That drunk.
.... Seriously?
We really gotta wear capes to the bar more often...
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