very cute, but more "I wanna put you in my pocket and keep you as a pet" and less "please bang me" type of cute.
I just saw a kid drop his lollipop on the floor of best buy, kick it because he was pissed off and then pick it up and eat it. I think I have a long lost son.
considering i was high when my dad made me pee in the cup i might fail this one
Just found out its our ciliated mucous membrane that traps the molly when we snort it. Biology does relate to life
We talked about all of the sex positions that would better allow him to feed me grapes. I think I'm in love.
His words said "save me", but his penis said "I'll take my chances"
I just bid on a $9000 car because I think its my ex-girlfriends. Yes I wanna hit that again.
Oh and an honorable mention for your father's porn collection. Things I'll never forget.
What type of condoms do you get ? Oh and do you want a slurpee while I'm here
And to celebrate the raising of our lord I just purchased a bunny buttplug. Am I doing this Easter thing right?
Tonight I researched being a phone sex operator and teaching English at a French school in Africa. I think my future lacks direction
I'm not strong. I'm hormonal, sad, lonely, and trying to get laid via tinder
I ordered from the drive thru as i was peeing on the menu
Do you ever wake up and realize playing beer pong with your parents wasnt a dream? Your mom really beat you
I’m 37 with a career and a home and yesterday my niece set up Snapchat so I can sext with my 22 year old boyfriend/fuck buddy. Yes. Yes I’d say I need help?
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