Last night was an abortion. I might need a publicist.
and he says: but we did find out that your ovaries have never released eggs. first thing out of my mouth: so i didnt really need to take the morning after pill so many times in college?
not the response he usually gets im sure.
Happy graduation...we are now officially unemployed alcoholics!
I'm pregaming for my hair cut. Working two jobs definately taught me how to use my time wisely...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You have to wear the princess leia gold bikini every Sunday
Need. Hospital. Physically am floating.
You straddled the banister and fell down the stairs, then proceeded to crawl back up them, I think you need to lay down
I need to have some sort of hot sex experience in a mask.
Probably twitter. Never underestimate a psycho girl with wifi
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Just got my stitches out.. Now I can give a proper hand job
Yknow what, if there is a thug life for white bitches, I'm living it. I went out on a date, watched howls moving castle with my brother till he passed out, then went and got some a+ dick, and made it home in time to take my mom to work. Now its 7am, I'm in bed with some free tacos, and when I'm done eating I'm going to sleep. What a great night.
LinkedIn just suggested I might know the guy I caught my wife fucking.
Some girl just ordered Chinese delivery to her therapy appointment...
I just fell in love with a beard, the guy it's attached to isn't great but I think I'm going to take one for the team
Good god, my descendants are going to be fucked.
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