I dont know why I dont listen to you more often. He wont stop texting me. And his signature is "dancing with no panties on"
ok now this is the second time he's reffered to recieving a blow job as 'getting his pee pee sucked'
Your mom is more observant then Randy Newman.
I think im gonna have to stop sexting on the metra. The middle aged businessman behind me just leaned over and whispered 'dirty girl' and highfived his seatmate.
and on the fourth day, god made foam parties.
Soo time for a life change, my 6 yr old sister made my gf a puke bucket for her birthday
My hanfda are one with the u niverse and I am cirretnly inhaling a couch
He showed up in booty shorts and no shirt and said dont laugh dont ask questions and give me a fucking final and no one in class said anything we just sat there speehless
I'm sorry that I didn't get belligerently drunk and did not put my penis on your neck again
I woke up tied to my bed while she was in the corner staring at me while eating cereal. Interesting night!
I just want to lay in a bed of egg mcmuffins and cry
Evvvvvveryone knows we hooked up in the DJ booth. People call it the BJ booth now. I've created a legacy
I fucked her ex bc she fucked mine but now we're cool and I'm watching her dog this weekend
Drunk me really does appreciate that sober me made a list of movies to watch when drunk it saves so much time
I promise I won't bug you anymore, I just need the following things at your convenience but preferably soon: my earrings, cup, and panties. Thanks. Good talk.
Randomize
