It looked like if robin williams had a vagina
at least franzia made me throw up pretty colors.
We were walking home when he passed out, we left him. Just got a call from him, hes in a jail in Canada.
We played shuffleboard at the bar last night...another sign we are getting tooooo old.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
We're at that point in our relationship where sweatpants sex has become acceptable...
I legitimately forgot how to blow my nose just now. Sleep might be handy.
We tried to make ramen in a glass bowl on the stove. They called facilities to pick the glass out of the door
Life is my bitch right now. The bouncers tried to carry me out of the club, but everyone thought I was crowd surfing so everyone carried me BACK IN. Winning as fuck.
So drunk I thought the door was feeling me up for a seconds
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Long story short, I found someone who takes me seriously when I say I have a Shakespeare kink.
There's just something so liberating about drinking a beer with no pants on
Every time I started to really hate the guys on tinder, the universe throws me a muscly beardy bone.
Just got home, my brothers stoned and he got a high score on COD.. He just asked me if I wanted to have a celebrational yogurt with him. Wtf?
right after that u started calling me g-force and started trying to bellyslide down his drive way
He's a downgrade and it was quick. But it was dick nonetheless.
Randomize