Yay Minnesota! I can't believe there's now a US Senator who has taken more acid than we have
i think the fact that he graduated high school the year i graduated elementary school is sexy.
shes got a 6th sense for me cheating...the the hailey joel osmound of me getting bjs
so he tried to quietly tell me my Tampon String was hanging out in front of his family but i didn't hear him so he yelled it
this weekend will be like the season finale to my life
mom found the triscuts in her underwear drawer, its done.
Or stump rather since he's possibly large. Large penises don't have tips, just blunt ends of battering rams.
It's a little sad/awesome that I scored coke within 60 seconds of walking in the bar.
The student becomes the teacher.
Is there a particular reason why everyone is now calling you Butt Doctor?
He said his fantasy involved both of us fucking while stuffed into the same overalls
i just need to find someone who enjoys eating frozen waffles as much as I do. It will be perfect.
I named my Roomba after my pot dealer. I have a problem, don't i?
Three Decembers later, I'm looking at this fuckin Santa lingerie I bought and just realized my stocking never got stuffed....
Topless, eating sour gummies, doing a crossword, at 4 AM. TELL ME IM BEAUTIFUL!
While I was giving him head he told me he had to go door to door the next day and "spread the word of Jesus Christ" I felt like a Disney villain out to steal his virtue.
Randomize
