Have you ever noticed that nowhere is the same thing as now here, i get my best ideas when i smoke
Taking my final with a coffee mug full of keystone... best semester ever.
i just added no after every hockey player in my phone..
Hello you've reached the get a clue corp. Our business hours are from take a hint to figure it out, eastern standard time. If you prefer to leave a message, don't, call back when you're not crazy, fat, and annoying.
Me. blonde. Sex. Dance floor.
Topless bubble bath with a lesbian is debatable as a gay experience.
I dunno what's worse, the fact that I hooked up with a guy that shaves his armpits or that I didn't notice until he brought it up the next day
Nothing shouts "I'm single" like a thousand needlepoint pillows.
On Friday, can we drink like its Civil Wars times and the doctor's coming to saw off our gangreen infected legs?
I'm just going to eat my milkshake, watch teen wolf, masturbate, and lament my inability to form meaningful relations with men who aren't gay
My life is a video game called get the drunk princess back to her castle, thank you to all that participated
come home. i made deep-fried hotdogs; don't let me die alone.
Quote of the night award goes to my father "I like wearing my swim trunks around the house because they are cooler and more blousy for my balls". Yay dad
Can you pay somone's bail with a credit card or just cash? I feel like you would know this.
When I found out he was circumcised I called his mother and thanked her
Randomize
