Can i come over
After you called me a desperate slut? No
Come over
absolutely 100% incorrect. and i love you more you silk skinned goddess
I just had a librarian tell me that "wikipedia is like sex"
When he expanded on the analogy it actually made sense. "you're going to do it either way, so I'm just going to tell you how to do it safely."
Just left some random in my bed to go get mcdonalds breakfast. I'd say my priorities are on point.
Is it ironic that the girl with the horse face is also on the equestrian team?
I blacked out after you got about 8 goldfish out of the tank and put them in your pockets. We're not allowed back. It was a sucky Walmart anyway...
I know you're gay. But if I'm not getting dick, then you have to. That's what friends do.
Well the term Party is used loosely in this situation. Since it will just be mom wine drunk and us eating chips with multiple dips.
You have all semester to unpack your car, quarter jello shots only last until 10.
I should be rewarded with oreos for not turning into a raging cunt.
I mean...he danced with his dick still inside of me. What more could a girl ask for?
I can't believe we broke the fucking lamp.
*i* can't believe believe we broke the lamp fucking.
I woke up this morning and had to retrieve my clothes from the flagpole, they were using my boxers as a makeshift rally flag for drinking. Yeah last night was a success.
He hit me with his bagpipe
Isnt that against the lesbian handbook?
I think drunk me saved him in my phone as "beautiful man" to play a joke on sober me
Randomize
