I bet he comes in French.
Apparently I masturbate in my sleep now.
are you going to last longer than 15 seconds
nope
I just got a flashback from Saturday night of you helping me wash my feet in the bar's bathroom.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He's the kind of drunk guy that would pee in your mouth while you give him head.
Overall win. We all know who got to sleep on the concrete outside of Denny's with you.
I am one Jewel song away from suicide watch
Was there a Canadian at your party or did I dream that?
Dude she said she'd let me snort a line off her ass now I just have to wait for them to break up
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
No more bourbon. Sleep now. I may die. Pray for me.
I love that we can live in a world where I can Google "Harry Potter lizard" and an illustration for my dream pops up
You yelled "Shame!" like you were that bitch from Game of Thrones and then hit my balls full force with your sports bra
Wow. I hope you were either doing that in your sleep or blacked out. You threw up then covered yourself in duct tape... i wish i got that on camera
Never underestimate the power of titties
I accidentally stubbed my dick
What does that even mean?
Randomize