I saw two morbidly obese women get winded after fighting over the last motorized wheelchair at Walmart
These are the moments in life you observe a force greater than us at work
is not sure whether or not everyone at the club last night calling me a-easy is a good thing?
dude im at a party with a bunch of 17 year old gilrs this is awesome
no its not leave
You were mumbling a lot and offered me 20 dollars to leave you alone
Was waiting for the adderal to kick in then realized I had been brushing my teeth for eighteen minuites
She told me my parents were awesome for leaving me uncircumcised...
It's official. The summoning powers of my vagina are unmatched by anything in this world.
the boys love us. they call us "the stoner girl suite down the hall". not very inspired, but flattering nonetheless
You need to come back and help me drink our beer so the fridge has room for the other beers
Ah that wonderful moment when you realise the bookmark you were using in a book you lent your mum is actually a receipt from a strip club
This is stupid. I am not getting knocked up from fucking in his backseat behind a starbucks. I refuse.
It's astonishing how many Ludacris lyrics you know
It's a sexual break up. We maintain a friendship and leave any and all sexual attraction out. It's not hard, having a baby is harder than that.
Standing naked in my kitchen making nachos. I love my youth.
Next time we do shrooms i am finding an open field at sunrise and running through it and nobody is stopping me this time!
Randomize
