3:47a: I take it you're not on your way over
also i tucked his toothbrush in my shirt. why? i dont know.
If you want her to think you're a true humanitarian, you may want to stop referring to Hands Across America as "the Ghostbusters 2 of fund raisers."
like i told you yesterday: virgins, blood, my name. do it.
i'm saving my butt for my wedding night
You know how I know he's a virgin? He's wearing transition lenses.
I told you it's awful. It looks like he was eating honey at a barbershop and tripped.
Don't let the fact that shes seen my penis discourage you
Who wouldn't want a man who can knock a guy out but also loves the bachelor.
It's the best of both worlds
...there was a woman in the stall next to me in the Walmart bathroom having a massive bowl movement and whispering "I'm sorry" over and over
When you put the phrases "just out of shower" and "did you get the picture" that close together, a picture of hamburger helper is not exactly what I expected to pop up.
It may not have seemed like it to you, but I was very sad that I was cheating on my GF with you. I was crying on the INSIDE.
I sense naked hashbrown eating in my near future.
Thirty seconds is a long time in jizz time...
I figure I since I made out with him that I at least had to save his number in my phone.
Randomize
