I just went to a chocolate syrup wrestling party I think you need to get on my level
We're doing the donut challenge later. How many can we fit on his erect penis. Needless to say we get along well.
Only your wife would write 'for deposit only' on the back of that $1500 check knowing full and well our capabilities of spending it on strippers and booze
the cop didnt laugh with me when he patted me down and pulled out my flask.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
They evidently had to pull his penis out of me while we were passed out on the floor.
Yeah haha but we have no idea where his keys are. Last night was awful. Him and Chancey were in a fully embraced bro hug at one point. Both crying.
So I just went to 3 different stores because there is no way I can walk out of one store with this many reeses and still have my pride.
He came over and said its legs day so put them in the air! Fucked me for 30 minutes and said he had dinner reservations to go to. Well i just ran into him and his friends hammered at Taco Bell
Literally just saw a 7 year old intently rub his penis on the metro. I'm not ready for this
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
When you're done railing that chick, there is still half a pizza and some ninja turtle mac and cheese down here if you want
I decided taking Molly and seeing Birdman seemed like a wise life choice.
My "lord keep me from stabbing a bitch" prayer has gotten a lot of miles today
There might be a dead possum in your bed, your roomate is extremely distressed!
I canceled a date last night to eat pop tarts and go to bed early
Have you ever gotten such awesome underwear you wish you didnt have to wear pants?
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