Having dinner with my dad, watching the news and some AIDS prevention ad comes on. My dad then kindly informs me that he doesn't enjoy the feel of condoms.
Last night we hooked up in nothing but out UK shirts during half time. Never say I'm not a dedicated fan again.
He leaned out the window to puke right as the fan for the ac turned on. All of it blew back up into his face.
she got the salsa and pickles out of the fridge looked at me and said what can i make with this
I ended up on the roof were calling it a tie
You are too young to settle down enjoy your life. The window to get drunk and have casual sex with strangers gets smaller by the day.
And you were like "stop making pop tarts, lil bowow" as you grabbed the pop tarts from your ex and consumed them. Teach me your ways.
It's amazing how not interested in talking to him I am since I've decided that he probably has chlamydia.
I didn't even realize I grinded on a security guard last night. Shit. Did he at least like it?
It sounds like drunken magic sprinkled w narcotics
There is someone out there for you right now. And we will find her. Or him. Her. Her, we'll start with tits.
Watching Faye Reagan porn all weekend for St Patty's day. Nothing has ever seemed more appropriate.
I'm too depressed to masturbate. This election is the worst.
if you were broke and planning on using koolaid as a tequila chaser which flavor would you pick?
I accidentally sent my mom a nude picture of my ass... she replied with how did you get that angle ?
Randomize
