no you're not listening to me HE WANTED TO BRAID MY HAIR
It's just like the Real World with babies
the three of them together have enough kids to fill a barney live audience.
Pretty certain he passed out for a while going down on me. Absolutely certain he passed out during the blow job.
She said her hobbies include bangin guys on one night stands and then sending them facebook relationship requests the next morning just to freak em out
I remember three things: you falling down an entire flight of stairs, me stripping out of your Christmas one-sie to do cartwheels in my underwear, and people standing above me saying, "where did that bump on her head come from?"
Also, I was told I kept the antlers on the entire time. I'm deeming last night a success.
As far as drugs go, alcohol has all the elegance and precision of hitting yourself in the head with a hammer.
I have no idea. I think this is what happens when people take drugs in the middle of the day
All those movies are bullshit, there is no way to run down a line of parked cars, they`re too far apart. my faces hurts so much right now
The last thing I remember about last night was guzzling white zinfandel out of the box and eating cheese. And I was thinking OH YOU FANCY HUHHH
Dude. Where are you? There's a hot chick drunkenly dancing on the bar and aggressively taking shots to Pink songs. She looks like she needs a rebound. Get. Here. Now.
FUCK NYC TRAFFIC.
Had to drive my booty call home because he had an asthma attack after we had sex .. How was your night?
Just masturbating and watching Sports Center...is this what it's like to be a guy?!
Not sure if your roommate speaks German while sleeping, or if she woke up, figured out we were fucking, and used German to swear at us.
DO NOT FUCK YOUR ENGAGED GAY NEIGHBOR!
Randomize
