Dub. In the bra. Dub in the bra.
Guys are so much hotter at OU. Come my mating season, I am flying south like the geese in the wintertime.
Omg just want to confirm: got drunk, naked in street, fucked in bathroom and puked on bart.
part of me always dies a little when i go to the "2 women seeking 1 man" section in craigslist's casual encounters to find nothing there. it's tragic
you went around grabbing cigarettes out of peoples mouths and claiming you were curing cancer.
i don't think i ever formally apologized for that time i threw up on your dog.... well...here it is...
You broke a cabinet. You were climbing up it and it collapsed on you. Lines were crossed.
Sometimes I love sober logical me. She makes rare appearances but when she does she shines.
I'm sitting on the toilet just to avoid my bosses look of disapproval
On a scale of one to liver failure, how bad would it be if I played thunderstruck alone?
Just finished off half a bottle of vodka. Can't take in anymore liquids so I ate 3 spoonfuls of your powdered gatorade to fight off the hangover. Wish me luck and check me for a pulse when you get in!
My car has a permanent smell of sex to it now.
Do you remember when I didn't post that pic of you fucking an avocado on your boss' desk? Can you return the favour?
Just had a med school interview with that doctor I fucked in college. He remembered. Asked if I still have my nipple rings. Overall, I think it went well.
I wouldn't be able to live with myself if I blew a Trump supporter.
Randomize
