Crap im kindd 0f drunkk we just hooked up in a mcdonalds parking lot but i dont know why how we are here
Dan is more possessive of me than a Michael Jackson is of McCully Caulkin
was*
True, R.I.P.
TLC. RIGHT NOW. PRIMORDIAL TODDLERS.
It's like you don't even want to get drunk with me everyday, anymore.
I have fifteen cents in cash and 80 cents in the bank. BUT I have weed.
I just shotgunned a beer alone in the bathroom...what do you expect from me
Just start grabbing cocks. It can't go wrong! Just say you thought you knew him and wanted to check.
He just asked me if I wanted a ride on the "bologna pony." I never wanna have sex again...
You were crying because you hate wine coolers but you really wanted to prove you could finish it
And dildos are 35% off. So. Ya know. Savings.
I just tried to make cleaning gasoline off your shoes with toilet paper in the Chemistry Building bathroom look normal. I failed.
She showed up ready for sex all night.. with waters and a meat and cheese tray
she was concerned about my dick piercings.
I know... It's stupid... It's like, I have sex with his brother and bestfriend ONE time....
Just told my mom life fisted my asshole. She looked at me with complete understanding. I'm scared...
Randomize
