Seriously, stop being so datable w your movie/song prefs
You got in a fight last night?
Yeah! Some dude in the bathroom...he was standing there and I notice he's got the same shirt as me on so I'm like...dude you should have called me, we look like idiots...he didn't say anything...so i got pissed and hit him...completely decimated and my hand was all bloody and covered with glass afterward...weird dude, never saw him again that night or since.
Um...Did this guy happen to look almost exactly like you?
eric is really sick so I'm taking care of him! :(
just blow him with soup in your mouth.
We will have to stop frequently for food, stretching legs, interesting things on the side of the road, and sex. So you might as well eat.
She wants out first dance to be to 98 degrees i do cherish you...remember how i said we didn't need open bar....
This better be legit desert and not your penis alamode
Next time you're baked eat baked beans and potato chips together. Like dip them in the beans. It's so good
I'm pretty sure male strippers are the last things I need in my life right now.
You must take up my position now. You must pass out in awkward places as I taught you... Sears a hotel elevator and Burger King bathroom. You potential for greater young grasshopper.
Life achievement unlocked: I just ate a Slim Jim "Lady and the Tramp" style with a guy in a bar.
I decided to do drugs in front of her because if anyone can handle the truth it's a ghost
PLEASE AT LEAST MEOW SO I KNOW YOU AREN'T DEAD
and i thought it was paint or jizz but it was cheese
please tell me you didnt taste test that
i just sneezed the second i jizzed and it got in my eye. words can't describe how much i hate life right now.
It wasn't as awesome as they lead everyone to believe. No stripper. Ran out of booze. The chipmunk. He was real.
Randomize
