How drunk are you??
I'm flawless.
Honestly, I don't care whether it was a guy or a girl. Best blowjob ever.
you handed me the dorito you were about to eat and told me to 'keep him safe' while you went to the bathroom
I told him I'd put in a good word. And the word of the day is: NEGATIVE
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm glad we're going to catch up. too bad it's over my vagina.
At the drs she looked at my back saw your scratch marks and asked "does your back itch a lot?"
He's claiming he can open a beer bottle with anything. He's been trying for a while now with a power rangers action figure and he is just cutting the hell out of his hand. There is blood all over billy
And then he serenaded me with "Pimps don't cry" from 'The Other Guys'. If that's not love I'm not sure what is
It's like you know you got fucjed up when you wake up and check fir your own pulse
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Nautical themed porn is also great bc someone usually wears a captains hat
I kid you not. He let me in into his house, showed me the putt putt in his backyard. Offered to play me.
And on a positive note i found a list that i made in 3rd grade titled "what to do if you want a guy to like you"
Quickly hiding the condom wrappers, ropes, and handcuffs right before the parents arrive to help with moving out? Priceless.
I'm sitting in the car vaping at an elementary school to try and deal with the stress of existing. About how i thought being 30 would go for me tbh
For someone who's supposed to be gay Greg is really good at seducing me into things I don't wanna do
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