She was lying the whole time!
She was a great actress
I was a great dumbass
just saw a prosititute with a baby stroller...question is...if the baby wakes up is the blow job free?
I'm drinking ghetto ass mojitos!
Wow. How can mojitos be ghetto?
Squirt + bacardi limon + limes = ghetto mojitos
I want to dip my vagina in sugar. Not only will it be sweet, but it will have a nice sparkle.
Weirdest conversation with my dad. He just told me he didn't shave his pubes.
As soon as I saw the video camera and red light on, I started rolling my eyes when he would put it in me and telling him maybe his dick was too small cause I didn't feel anything...trust me that tape is going nowhere
i feel like arbor mist is too classy for that. you need a colt 45
Yeah you're right. The one time when arbor mist is too classy
so yeah i told her you were going to become a doctor and the first thing she said was "i still don't want to fuck him". i tried.
What baked good do you think says thanks for being a great tutor, lets bang?
Why is there bacon braided in my hair
If you want to borrow my flask for all future interviews as a good luck charm because your last one went so well with it in your suit pocket, just let me know
my mom found me passed out in the kitchen floor with the Brita pitcher.. Happy Mothers Day
Your life has no conflict it's just a blur of sex and Netflix
Will you be doing the frenzied booty dance of passionate ownage on my penis tonight
I told him I had the birth control implant in my arm and he looked me in the eyes, said "Science!" and came in me
Randomize
