You screamed, "I am going to fuck this cheeseburger". They all started laughing until you actually started having sex with the cheeseburger.
he's going on about how he's going to treat me right and wants to let himself be in love with me and spend a lot of time together. kids these days. like its not about sex anymore. i'm confused.
the best part about tonight...knowing when i wake up in the morning his car will still be full of packing peanuts..and mine wont
he had more hair on his balls then in my Easter basket
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She eyed me up from across the bar and mouthed "I have no gag reflex".
just watched the video of me leading you with a trail of french fries.
I successfully convinced a drunk NDSU student that their school does not have a football team and another that they weren't in Fargo. I'm a dangerous sober shark in a sea of drunks.
some dude just accurately guessed my height and bra size.. that is cup AND inches around. creepy, yet impressive
Never admit to being cold at those things. That is how you end up waking up the next morning naked under animal pelts... or so I have heard.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
My sex toys have been held in customs for almost a month now. They're British, what the hell?!?
I might need to come puke in your toliet on the way home
We are gonna play a game I like to call what the fuck is in my pocket
Maverick's sitting in jail wearing a turkey costume and I am soooo jealous.
About the whale....I wasn't completely awake.
I just saw puke on the road at the same stoplight i threw up at sunday morning! Makes me smile inside.
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