Get condoms and clear your schedule for the night. I'm bringing chinese food!
i guess i had fun last thursday night because when i got on the drunk bus this thursday night everyone immediatley started chanting my name and telling me to do a bus flip
whats a bus flip?
idk but apparently i invented it
Correct me if I'm wrong here... but did we serenade each others breasts to "winds of change" last night?
I just got a whiff of tequila through the air conditioner.
Just saw two dudes run across the street carrying a mini keg and a scaled model of the empire state building. Missed this town
Why didn't I see you last night!?
We made out like 4 times....I think I saw you.
PROFESSOR JUST TOOK A SHOT WITH US BEFORE CLASS. WELCOME TO THE LAST DAY OF FINALS.
Me hangover (as projected). That sounds like a plan. Ill do it for Mexico
Figured out why that fly won't leave. It keeps buzzing through my weed smoke
Fly high, Fly.
I totally straight up jacked your pants. I am so sorry.
just imagine me sitting naked on a toilet with a fully-clothed dude i havent seen in 2 years, trying to make normal conversation except that im covered in blood and he's helping wipe me down while i try not to pass out because blood makes me NERVOUS. And he's apologizing and i'm apologizing.
If a treadmill opens up I'll run next to him and then fall off so he has to give me mouth to mouth
Today one of my patients offered me pot brownies. Medical school worth it. Living the dream.
What kind of friend would I be if I didn't make you hate things you once loved?
There's a Russian superstition that you'll spend your year the way you celebrate New Year's, so I'm honestly not that surprised you're drunk.
Randomize
