Sometimes when I whip my dick out it looks REAL impressive. This, was NOT one of those times.
Its piss that you smell... I borrowed that shirt last week. Sooo, wanna grab some laundry soap on your way home? And good luck on your date.
it was like he was trying to blow his nose in my vagina
They have beer in plastic boots. How am I supposed to resist that?
Everything gets a little fuzzy after the flats of jello shots, but I do have a vague recollection of being at the top of a large human pyramid
I feel like a fucking princess. Like an heiress of a kingdom of drugs.
It's official, the cities waste management does not recycle porn.
Would you have sex with a guy wearing a Batman mask?
It's all hypothetical, I don't have a Batman mask... yet...
Trust me. I don't get home before 5am. I know what Immmm doing. BTW bail money is in my closet. PEACE
the fact that i already established a hook up buddy for thanksgiving break is genius
I only have one kid whom I wish to hit in the face with an active jackhammer. How's work?
I love when groups of boys part so I can walk through. It's like a red sea of penises, and I am their Moses.
I'm going to write a new song and call it "Did I wax my vagina for this?" remind me to never go across the country for a penis ever again.
I feel like I put a fire out with my hand but idk if that was a dream or not
Should we make a shared Google doc list of places we want to fuck? Like a scavenger hunt?
Randomize
