I'm worried someone is gonna take a black light to my work computer. But the connection is faster here.
I'm watching Terminator eating a jar of marshmallow fluff. Trust me, you are not fat.
Girl next to me just said "as a guy I used to sweat but not I don't. it's awesome" Oh. My. God.
i was just singing like a virgin out loud my mom told me to stop kidding myself
according to the contents of this bucket, last night i swallowed a whole teabag
Never again will we have slut saturday. Never.
You kept trying to hail an ambulance
At a party. It smells like teen pregnancy and sadness in here.
Tequila me may have very bluntly told him that I wanted to touch his abs.
you were stumbling down richmond carrying a girl in a nurse costume. its not even halloween dude
PENIS EMOJIS WOULD MAKE MY LIFE SO MUCH EASIER GAH WHY DOES THE WORLD HATE ME
I fell asleep while eating jimmy johns last night and then woke up at 5am and continued to eat it
We're going to ride the bus of mixed signals all the way to unrequited love town and that's where I'm going to live my life and then die.
What, so now you are his nutritionist and his fuck buddy?
He answered the door stark naked. When I called him on it he shrugged and said 'casual Friday ' Some boys can't be trusted to work from home.
Randomize
